The Real Cost of Touring: Tim Stafford on Music, Family, and Finding Balance
PodcastWhen Success Becomes Too Much
In a candid conversation at Carter Vintage Guitars in Nashville, Tim Stafford—songwriter, guitarist, and longtime member of Blue Highway—shared a story that resonates with countless musicians who've struggled with the balance between career ambitions and family life. The moment that changed everything came when he returned from a tour with Alison Krauss & Union Station to find his young son Daniel crying at the sight of him—not recognizing his own father.
"I was the last one off the plane and when Daniel saw me, he started crying because he didn't know who I was," Stafford recalls. "I was like, well this ain't going to last. That was the beginning of the end."
This powerful moment illustrates a truth that Doc Watson once shared with Stafford: "The quickest way to kill the joy for anything you got is do it for a living."
The Craft of Songwriting
Stafford's approach to songwriting reflects both his academic background (he worked toward a PhD in history) and his intuitive understanding of story. During the pandemic, he developed a weekly writing routine with collaborator Tom Utes, a songwriting professor at Belmont College, that resulted in over 200 songs and two duet records.
Key Songwriting Principles
- Don't overthink it: "What comes to your mind first is going to be a good idea, hopefully. The enemy of every good song is you just can't afford to overthink it."
- Story is everything: Drawing inspiration from Stephen King's philosophy that "you can take everything else away—story is it."
- Melody must match the lyrics: "If you write lyric first, how do I come up with a melody that sounds like that set of lyrics? Can you actually invoke that set of lyrics without the lyrics?"
- Record ideas immediately: "You better write it down as soon as you get it, because you will forget. You got to record your melodies too, and if you don't do it right then, you'll change one or two notes later."
Tony Rice's Revolutionary Rhythm
Stafford's deep dive into Tony Rice's playing for their biographical book revealed insights that changed his understanding of bluegrass guitar. Rice's rhythm playing, which "changed the entire sound of bluegrass," came from his synergistic relationship with banjo player J.D. Crowe.
"It's that right hand of J.D. Crowe that helped develop that right hand of Tony Rice. When you're a 20-something year old like Tony was, playing six nights a week, three shows a night... and you had this pile-driving banjo syncopated thing, it changed the way Tony played rhythm."
Pre-Tony vs. Tony-Era Rhythm
Before Tony Rice, most bluegrass guitarists played with thumb picks and finger picks, focusing on downstrokes and traditional boom-chick patterns. Rice incorporated Clarence White's three-finger G chord technique—a power chord approach (root-fifth-root) that muted the third—creating the driving rhythm that became the bluegrass standard.
Stafford demonstrates how this evolution traces back through:
- Jimmy Martin's "boom-cha" rhythm
- Clarence White's three-finger chord voicings
- Tony Rice's synthesis with J.D. Crowe's banjo syncopation
Learning From the Masters
Doc Watson's Wisdom
Despite being often categorized as bluegrass, Doc Watson called his music "traditional plus," acknowledging his roots in various American musical traditions. Watson's advice about not doing music "for a living" reflects the challenge of maintaining artistic joy while meeting commercial demands.
The Importance of Tuning
One of Tony Rice's greatest skills was his immaculate tuning approach. Using only a tuning fork, Rice would:
- Tune his A string to the fork
- Tune all other strings relative to that A string
- Test everything with a G chord
- Ensure the guitar was "in tune in a combination of keys"
"His whole thing was, you don't want to tune it where it's right in tune. It's got to be in tune in relation to all these others based on what you're playing," Stafford explains.
The Evolution of Bluegrass Guitar
Stafford notes how the technical bar has risen dramatically since he started playing in the late 1970s. Where once there were only a handful of notable bluegrass guitarists, now "the entry-level bar for playing bluegrass leads is you got to be able to play 160 beats a minute."
This evolution reflects:
- More formal music education (conservatories, university programs)
- Better learning tools (YouTube, built-in slow-down features)
- Higher technical standards set by players like Bryan Sutton and Jake Workman
Practical Takeaways for Guitar Students
Rhythm Development
Stafford's approach to rhythm came from "finding myself playing off of the banjo and using it as my drum track." He practiced to drum patterns that replicated banjo syncopation, showing how cross-instrumental awareness can enhance your playing.
The Pre-War Martin Sound
Discussing his 1937 D-28, Stafford explains that pre-war Martins feature:
- Advanced bracing (X-braces close to the sound hole)
- Scalloped braces (wood carved away for flexibility)
- Different construction standards that create their legendary tone
"All of these early '30s have what they call advanced bracing where the X brace comes right up to the sound hole... later on they realized that was very important to the sound."
Finding Balance in the Modern Era
Now 31 years into Blue Highway's career, Stafford has found his sweet spot: 20-25 shows per year. This allows him to maintain his passion for music while preserving the joy that initially drew him to it.
His advice echoes Doc Watson's warning: success in music requires vigilantly protecting what made you fall in love with it in the first place. "I've tried to vigorously go back and rediscover what got me into the music," he says, regularly returning to foundational albums like the J.D. Crowe and the New South's "0044" to reconnect with his original inspiration.
For aspiring musicians, Stafford's journey offers a roadmap for sustaining a long career: develop your craft seriously, learn from the masters, but never lose sight of the joy that started it all.
